


Sea Goat Syntax

by sl0ff



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Attempted Rape, Drugs, Drunk Sex, Fingerfucking, First Kiss, Frottage, Half-Sibling Incest, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:58:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sl0ff/pseuds/sl0ff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Tavros Nitram and you have a little, well, maybe more than little obsession with the band 'SeaGoat syntax', or more specifically the bands lead singer, Gamzee Makara. Human AU. GamTav, GamKar, maybe EriSol & some SolKat. Chapters 1-4 are old so please ignore the writing difference from chapter 4 onwards. Also on Fanfiction under the same name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Gamzee and Tav drink faygo. Aka boring chapter.

Your name is Tavros Nitram. You're nineteen years old and dropped out of school at the tender age of sixteen after having one too many run-ins with people who had made it their business to ensure your school life became a living hell. 

 

It may have been the way you dressed (a pair of low hung black jeans, old sneakers that had seen better days and a top supporting the logo of your favourite underground band).   
Or it could have been the way you looked. You weren't exactly tall, reaching only 5'7 on the best of days which apparently helped signal you out as an easy target from the very start, though according to recent information you had gathered from the small circle of friends you still kept in contact with from your old school days it had in fact been your hair which had originally been the cause of all this mess.

 

Personally you didn't see anything wrong your hair. Mohawks were cool, in your opinion at least. You'd tried other styles but nothing seemed to fit as well as the floppy strip of hair down the centre of your head. It didn't matter now anyway. You weren't at school anymore, you'd left, and though you sometimes wished you could have stayed you didn't like to dwell on the past, especially on a night like this. 

 

The night you'd been looking forward to for the past six weeks. 

 

You have a wide range of interests ranging from small animal care (you currently work full time at a pet shop, your main source of income which you use to fuel your other hobbies as well as paying the rent on your kinda shitty but comfy one bedroom apartment down town) as well as a strong interest in RPG games, especially the ones where you get to have animal sidekicks and go on adventures. You also enjoy body modification, currently only having your nose pierced with a small bull ring in the centre, though you're looking into getting more done in the future when you can get over your fear of needles and get pierced professionally without having to be drunk off your own ass like last time and doing it with a block of ice and a sewing needle. 

 

But your main interest by far is music. Or more specifically the band 'Sea goat syntax'.  
The band was formed four years ago and had been playing the local club scenes for the last year or so since the band had spent their first three years writing songs as well as having to find a new key board player after their old one, Eridan Ampora, apparently flipped his shit at the band's drummer, Sollux Captor, and left taking along with him the bands main source of income since the guys parents were loaded and were happy to spew out money into the project as long as their son took centre stage.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Tavros had been scared the band would split up after that but it seemed to have only made them stronger, producing some of what Tavros believed to be their best songs in the upcoming months after the whole Eridan fiasco. 

 

Now that the band seemed to have found its footing it was building up a rapidly growing fan base and while Tavros had often been able to purchase tickets for their shows with relative ease when he had enough money left over from rent, it was now becoming a lot harder. 

 

If it hadn't had been for Nepeta, one of his closest friends from school, who had managed to get him tickets from her rather large and scary friend Equius, who was helping the band set up their equipment then Tavros was sure he wouldn't have had a chance to attend tonight but for once the fates had decided to go easy on the boy and he'd made it, lining up along with hundred or so others outside of the club waiting for the doors to open so he could get his fix. 

 

Tavros stood with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket, running the tip of his fingers over his phone and wallet while he shifted his weight from foot to foot trying to keep his shivers at bay. With so many people packed so tightly together he'd of thought it would have been enough to fight back against the night air but he'd been wrong. To be fair it was the middle of March so he probably should have dressed for colder weather but he didn't want to have to leave layers after layers of clothing in the clubs coat room. People tended to have a bad habit of picking up clothes that didn't belong to them and not bother to give them back, and Tavros didn't want to lose yet another jacket to someone else's sticky fingers. 

 

When the doors finally opened he was caught off guard by the sudden rush of people swarming to get into the building and he felt himself fall forwards, landing on his hands and knees but quickly shoving himself back to his feet. He'd heard stories of people getting killed at shows when someone in the crowed fell and suddenly ended up with someone's high heels impaled through their eye socket, and that wasn't exactly how Tavros wanted to start his night.

 

The little stumble had cost him his place in line and when he finally got inside he found himself forced to the back of the room, unable to get through the crowed the front of the stage, but, honestly he didn't care. As long as he could hear the music and see the band then he didn't mind not being within touching distance of them, content to stay at the back where it was less crowded and just stand and move his body to music. 

 

When the band came on stage he had to cover his ears with everyone in the building screaming at the sight of the four of them. 

 

Sollax captor, the band's drummer came out first. He was in his mid twenties and Tavros knew from his intensive research into the band members the man was an incredibly skilled computer programmer and currently ran a side business repairing peoples laptops and using the money to help fund the band.

 

Next out was Karkat vantas. He was the guy who had replaced Eridan after he'd left but Tavros didn't know much about him. As far as he could work out the guy a friend of the band and had agreed to fill in for Eridans spot until they could find someone else but in the end he just hadn't ever left. Tavros didn't know why but Karkat always seemed to look oddly pissed off for a guy in a room full of adoring fans, though Tavros guessed maybe it wasn't for everyone but still, that begged the question why would he stay in the band if he hated it so much?

 

Next out was the bands base guitarist and backup singer Jade Harley. The girl looked a little bit out of place in a band that primarily played rock styled songs but no one could deny the girl was good at what she did, not to mention beautiful, drawing in a lot of the bands male fans with her cute bucked toothed smile and her musical talent. 

 

Last out was the bands main guitarist and lead singer, Gamzee Makara. He was the one who had originally formed the band. He lived on Tavros's side of the city though no one was exactly sure where, rumours having spread that the man was homeless or simply slept in random disused buildings but Tavros didn't believe that. He tended to not believe a lot of the stuff he'd heard about the tall black haired male since most of it was negative. People said he'd been in jail, that he was a drug addict, an alcoholic, anything to do with addictions and apparently Gamzee makara took part in it. Though he couldn't deny the man was a little...odd to say the least, playing every show and only coming out in public with his face painted up with white and grey face paint. Tavros always believed the best in people and he didn't think someone with a voice so silky and such talented skills on a musical instrument could be the raving crack head his fans played him up to be.

 

Truth be told he didn't want to believe negative things about Gamzee. Though he'd never admit it, he might have had a tiny bit of a crush on the man. Ok. Maybe a bit more than a 'tiny crush'. More like a heart pounding wet dream inducing blush creeping crush that he would never openly tell anyone about (apart from maybe Nepeta), but he wasn't dumb enough to think anything would ever come from his infatuation which was why unlike some fans he didn't go out of his way to try and get close to the man. He'd seen girls throw themselves onto the stage only to be dragged away my security moments later, kicked out of any future shows but thinking it was all worth it since they had been able to touch Gamzee's hand, leg, face, any part of his body.

 

No.

 

No way.

 

Tavros didn't want to be like that.  
Just as he was happy to admire the band from afar at the back of the room, he was also happy to keep his adoration to the depths of his mind and not act out as so many others tended to do. He just wanted to listen to the music and watch his favourite band play, and maybe, just maybe watch a little more intently when Gamzee would throw his head back and arch his hips forwards to hit those notes that just needed a little more 'umph'


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tavros has a shitty night.

It was nearing the end of the show and while Tavros could happily listen to the band play all night his body had different ideas. His legs were starting to ache from standing so long and he was starting to get tired. Others had managed to quell their tiredness with energy drinks and god knows what else but Tavros didn't have the money to spill out on club price drinks, having managed to snag a free glass of water in the middle of the second break but having felt to guilty to ask again for another.

Though he'd been reluctant to leave his jacket in the care of the unmanned coat room he'd eventually had to give in and take it off. Though it hadn't been much help outside when he'd actually needed it, now that he was in the over packed night club the thick fleece fabric was more then he could handle. He'd hooked it over the back of one of the hooks by the back wall, keeping a near constant eye on the garment and making sure to stay at least two meters close by at all times to ensure it's safety.

When the band went to play their last song though he was forced to divert his attention away from his jacket and instead focus on the stage. The last song was always the best. It was always 'Terminally Capricious', the first song Tavros had ever heard by the band and it being by far his favourite. It might have had something to do with the fact that most of the song was sung and preformed by Gamzee himself with only a subtle flowing undertone of noise from his fellow band mates, but all in all Tavros had to admit the song was just good, even with his own bias pushed aside.  
Mid song something caught his attention in the corner of his eye and he felt something hit him in the side of the ribs. Pain flared up his arm from the sudden impact and though he could tell nothing had been broken or cut it still caught him off guard. It was only when he heard the sharp shattering of glass did he fully start to notice the fight going along beside him. From the looks of things the two guys had been fighting for at least a few minutes. He could tell they were yelling but it was hard to pick out the screams of violence amongst the overall din of the club in general so it was only now that Tavros was paying attention that he could tell it was happening.

One of the men was wielding a bottle above his head. Tavros assumed he had been holding two until the other had been thrown, missed its target, and subsequently hit him instead. He saw the other male cupping his face, blood seeping out between his fingers before he spat down onto the floor, smearing blood up the side of his cheek and then screaming something at his opponent before suddenly darting towards him and connecting his fist sharply to the other males jaw line.  
Now Tavros wasn't brave. At least he didn’t think he was. He just felt a sort of moral duty to at least attempt to intervene in the situation, especially when he seemed to be the only person around who noticed, or at least cared to pretend that they noticed.

He took a few steps towards the two men and reached out, tapping the nearest on the shoulder trying to catch his attention and hopefully disarm the fight so they could all enjoy the last few minutes of the show.

"E-excuse me, I think you guys would have a lot more fun if you stopped doing what it is you're doing an-" Before he could finish the bottle that the other man had been using as a weapon suddenly met the same fate as its predecessor and instead of hitting its intended target, instead hit Tavros.  
Unlike the last time though it wasn't a simple hit to the arm.  
It was to his face.

Tavros fell back but quickly tried to stand, his head pounding even louder then beat of the music. He could faintly hear Gamzee singing in the background but it was being drowned out by throbbing sound of his blood pumping through his ears. God, it felt like his head was on fire and it was only when he saw the reflection on the liquid from his finger tips that he noticed the bottle had been empty and what he thought was beer dripping down the side of his head was in fact his own blood.  
One thought flashed though his mind as turned sharply where he stood and tried to get to the bathroom, pushing through the crowed of over hyped young adults, not one of them seeming to notice his plight. He needed to get clean and assess the damage the bottle had done before he worked out if he needed to try and contact the hospital.  
He tried to keep himself upright but when he finally reached the bathroom he felt a wave of nausea quickly spread over him. Tavros cupped his mouth with one hand and pushed open the nearest stall, fumbling with the lock before falling to his knees and emptying up the contents of his stomach into the bowl, trying not to think about the state of the floor he was forced to kneel on and instead trying to keep his head forward and keep himself from vomiting up onto his own lap.  
It felt like years until he had finished, thinking it was over only to suddenly have his stomach lurch and cause him to dry heave up into the bowl, nothing coming out apart from saliva and occasionally a small amount of sickly yellow stomach bile.

He could have sworn he heard someone yell something into the bathroom but he wasn't in the right state of mind to home in on the noise let alone respond and after a few more seconds of yelling whoever it was left, closing the door behind leaving Tavros alone.

When the nausea finally passed he was able to get to his feet, unlock the door and stand in front of the mirror to see what the damage was. Most of the blood had dried now, forming a clump of matted sticky hair on the side of his head. He reached up to touch the wound but hissed when his fingers touched the open skin, quickly pulling his hand back and grabbing some of the paper towels from the dispenser on the wall. After running them under water for a few seconds he started to dab at the cut, biting his lower lip until most of the blood was gone and he could finally see what had happened.  
The wound wasn't as big as he had feared, only being about an inch long and a few millimetres deep. He couldn't see his skull, which was a plus, and there didn't seem to be any shards of glass left or sticking out of his scalp. That didn't mean it didn’t hurt but at least he could probably get away with just sticking a plaster over it and hoping for the best. The truth was with his needle phobia he didn't want to go to the hospital. Going to the hospital meant he might have to have stitches, and stitches meant needles.

Tavros washed the blood from his fingertips and then left the bathroom. He still felt a little light headed and wobbly on his feet but he was able to at least walk in a somewhat straight line now instead of stumbling all over the place like a drunkard. When he entered the main area he froze and looked towards the now locked doors and then back at the empty club.  
It seemed that while he had been making friends with the toilet seat and cleaning himself up, the show had ended and everyone had left. Now that he thought about it the bathroom had been oddly quite, and the person who had been yelling may have maybe been asking if anyone was still in any of the stalls.

Tavros swallowed and felt his chest tighten a fraction. For some reason he felt scared. He didn't belong here now. Everyone had gone. The only saving grace he had was that seeing as the lights were still on that probably meant someone was at least cleaning up in the backroom, or someone was still in the process of locking up the back doors.  
He finally snapped out of it and his brain clicked into gear as he went towards the coat rack to get his jacket. All he needed to do was find someone, apologise, and then he could leave.  
He pulled his jacket on and did up the zipper on the front. Having the warm material wrapped around his body no longer made him feel sweaty and sickly, instead now offering him a faint feeling of comfort.  
He was about to go and look in the back room when he noticed something odd. His pockets which had been keeping his phone and wallet safe now felt inexplicitly lighter. No. Not lighter. Empty.  
His stuff was gone.

Stolen.

And he hadn't even put his stupid jacket on the coat room.

Tavros felt like crying now. His head hurt and the tight worried feeling in his chest increased tenfold. He'd got at least a hundred dollars in his wallet. His hard earned money he'd gained by working overtime at the pet shop, money he had been intending to use on paying off this month's electricity bill.  
He knew that his boss would probably forward him money in advance to cover the loss but still, now he'd have to ask her and being the shy rather awkward boy he was the thought of having to own up to having his money stolen from him while he was busy throwing up in the bathroom after a failed bar fight break up honestly didn't fill him with confidence.  
Before he knew what was happening his chest heaved and he let out a loud sob, eyes springing with tears that quickly over flowed and trickled down his lightly freckled cheeks. Tonight had meant to be fun, one of the best nights in the past few months, but now like most things in his life it had turned to shit.  
"Hay...Tavros Nitram? you ok mother fucker?"

Tavros tensed turned to the sound of the voice, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand until his heart suddenly sank down into his stomach.  
There in front of him stood the object of his slightly obsessive affection, Gamezee Makara, in all his scruffy black haired lop sided smile glory.  
Tavros had dreamt about this moment more nights then he'd like to admit. He'd always seen them meeting after a show, Gamzee having picked him out from the crowed to personally talk to him, to let him in on the bands inner workings, maybe even write a song about him! They'd share a few drinks, laugh and talk into the early hours of the morning, and then as it was coming to an end and Tavros needed to leave he'd stand. Gamzee would grab his arm to pull him back down onto his lap and they'd kiss. It would be soft at first but once Tavros would open his mouth Gamzee would take that as a signal to deepen things and within a matter of minutes they would be a writhing mass of half clothed limps, breathing coming out in sharp gasps while the occasional moan would slip past their lips and eventually they would end laying beside one and other, basking in the afterglow of great sex while Gamzee would softly sing to him with his arm draped around Tavros stomach holding him close.  


Unfortunately this wasn't anything like his dream. Anything like it at all. He wasn't invited back behind stage after being handpicked. Instead he'd been found covered in his own blood and speckles of vomit down his top, nursing a concussion, his eyes red and puffy from crying and with his clothes dishevelled and stained with god knows what.  


He took a step back from Gamzee, not wanting his idol to see him like this. He herd Gamzee yell out before he suddenly found himself on the floor once more, head cracking back against the wooden floor boards. He managed to keep his eyes open just long enough to see Gamzee's blurry figure coming towards him and his own foot tangled up in the hanging sleeve of the very jacket he'd fought to hard to keep safe before everything started to fade to black around the edges. He once again tried to sit up but by now the floor felt like a much better option as he lay down and allowed the darkness to take him over while a pained moan fell from between his bloodied lips.


	3. Chapter 3

Tavros awoke to the sound of music playing softly in the background and the scent of Asian cooking. The pounding in his head had subsided, and while it still throbbed when he pushed himself up, the pain was no longer blinding, nor could he feel any more blood dripping down the side of his face. He reached up to touch the wound and felt something thin and hard. Touching again he winced in pain, but worked out that somehow he had been stitched up. All though the thought of someone putting needles into him while he was asleep made his stomach flip, his only saving grace was the fact it had been done while he was knocked out. At least now the wound would hopefully heal without a scar, so he guessed he had to be thank-full for that.   
From the looks of things he was in someone’s apartment. He was laying on a dark blue sofa with a red blanket pulled over his lap and upper body, though it had fallen down to pool around his waist when he moved. The apartment looked large, the room he was in being open planned and connected to both the seating area, what looked like a dining area, and also a kitchen. He had thought someone must have been cooking due to the smell but now he noticed the place was littered with half empty boxes of Chinese food and half cleared plates littered with the remains of said meals. 

The room had a monochromatic theme. The walls were painted white with the appliances in the kitchen being black. The only colours seemed to be red or blue. Even the photos on the walls had been grey scaled to match the rest of the place. 

Tavros guessed it was a man’s home. Though he didn’t see anything distinctively male orientated there did seem to be small piles of electronics scattered around haphazardly. In fact at the end of the sofa he was laying on he now noticed his legs were propped up on a pillow which was in turn was resting on the outer shell of a broken laptop. 

He was still feeling a little light headed so he blamed that on the fact he didn’t notice the other person in the room earlier. He could hear faint tapping in the background but didn’t really focus on it enough to give it any thought or real attention. It was only when he felt the back of the sofa dip that he looked up and saw he was in fact not alone. 

“You’re awake? You’re not going to throw up are you? Gamzee said when he found you that you were covered in vomit”   
The first thing Tavros noticed were the blue and red lenses in the man’s glasses, but when he took note of his whole face he then noticed that he was talking to Sollux Captor. THE Sollux captor.  
“G-Gamzee said? Where, urh, w-where am I?”   
Tavros hated the way his stutter sounded to his own ears but he doubt that Sollux would make a comment when he had a lisp. The male’s voice was pleasant, as was his singing; it was just his speech impediment that meant he sang back up instead of lead singer like Jade. Not because the band wouldn’t allow him to do so, Sollux just chose to focus primarily on instrumental work.   
“Yeah Gamzee, you know, the guy who found you on the floor crying? He came and dumped your sorry ass here”

Tavros felt his chest tighten and he looked away, rubbing his arm awkwardly and sitting up from the sofa. He picked up the blanket and started to fold it up until Sollux sighed loudly and snatched it from his hands, doing the job for him in a much quicker space of time. 

“Look, sorry ok? Been a long night, I just spent the last three hours trying to rewire Karkats keyboard because apparently it was ‘acting up’, turns out he smashed the main input cable so I had to refit half the keys, and then just when I’m finished Gamzee comes knocking at the door with you in his arms telling me that you ‘all up went and fainted like a motherfucker’ and dumps you on my sofa while he goes and runs ‘errands’”

 

Sollux finally took a breath once he’d explained it all, and Tavros was guessing this was his way of apologising for being snarky without actually having to outright apologise to him. Tavros forgave him at any rate. It sounded like the guy was under a lot of stress, not to mention he didn’t want to hold a grudge when he had let him sleep on his sofa for god knows however many hours he’d been out for. He couldn’t see a clock anywhere but it was dark outside and his head felt fuzzy, guessing it was early vey late. 

“T-thank-you, that’s urh, n-nice of you. I’m sorry, I can pay you?” Tavros started to reach into his pocket but then stopped; remembering that his wallet had been taken in the first place and that this had been the main reason behind his mini breakdown. 

“You looking for this? Gamzee found it at the side of the stage, you’re lucky they only took the money, you’ve still got all your cards and ID”   
Sollux handed over the wallet to him and Tavros clutched it close to his chest. The money was an issue and he wasn’t pleased about it being taken but at least he still had his cards and ID. His phone was still missing and that worried Tavros, all though he was smart enough to keep his phone only topped up $10 at a time, he still didn’t like the thought of people being able to go through his contacts and contact his friends and relatives without his consent. He’d have to try and reach nepeta to warn her, paranoid someone would send the sensitive girl something that would upset her, or even worse something lewd. He didn’t want Equius seeing that at all, he could only think what the much larger male would do should he think Tavros was attempting to engage in _those_ sorts of activities with the males best friend. 

Tavros hadn’t said anything for a while and Sollux was giving him that look again, raising one brow above his dual coloured lenses before he shook his head and went over into the kitchen area. He rummaged around with some of the leftover food and picked up a clear container half filled with noodles, pulling the lid off to inspect the contents before he went and heated it up in the microwave. 

“You like noodles right?”  
“W-What?”  
“...Noodles, do you like them? You know, to eat?”  
“O-oh! Yeah urh, s-sorry!”

When the microwave dinged Sollux got the food out, transferred it onto a clean plate and handed it along with a fork to Tavros while he sat down on the smaller sofa to the right. He then proceeded to take out what Tavros guessed was some sort of PDA, watching in interest as Sollux’s fingers darted over the buttons, punching in a quick text at near inhuman spead before putting the machine away from sight back onto his person. 

“Sit down and eat up, you still look sick and I don’t want you throwing up over the sofa. I sent a text to Gamzee to tell him you’re awake. He’s got a car so he can drop you off at your apartment. Where do you live?”

When Tavros didn’t respond right away Sollux sighed louder this time and waved his hand in front of his face until he snapped out of it.

“Earth to Tavros, you ok? Look I know you hit your head and all but are you ok? You seem pretty out of it”

“A-ah, yeah I’m sorry urh, I-i just...Gamzee’s going to be taking me home?”

“Yeah, like I said he’s got a car. My apartment complex doesn’t have parking and it’s cheaper to use the buss. Gamzee’s gonna come pick you up and take you home. Is that ok?”

In all honesty it was more than ok. All though his head was still throbbing a little it wasn’t what was causing Tavros’s apparent ‘out of it’ state. It was the thought of having to spend time with Gamzee, in close contact with him, in the guys CAR, after passing out in front of him sticky with blood and sick. As far as first meetings went theirs hadn’t exactly gone, well, good. 

Tavros didn’t have much time to dwell on it since while he sat there having another mini mental breakdown the door bell went and Sollux stood up, taking away tavros’s now empty plate and dumping it on the side before he opened the front door, and there stood the object of tavros’s affections.  
Gamzee was dressed in torn black jeans with boots that looked like they had seen better days, along with a purple wife beater and a hoodie pulled down off his shoulders, looped around his forearms. One hand was tucked under the belt loop of his jeans and the other was raised to slap Sollux on the shoulder in greater. 

“Sollux my man, so sleeping beauties all gone and woken up? Haha, damn didn’t need me to kiss him then haha, feel all motherfucking unwanted now Tavbro”

Though the comment was probably made as a joke Tavros couldn’t help the cold sweat that quickly settled over his body, feeling his cheeks start to burn and knowing, just knowing, he was blushing that god awful shade of red. He didn’t blush attractively like some people, just a subtle colouring on their cheeks that looked cute and adorable. No. He had to turn red all up along his neck and even over the tips of his ears. Some people may have called it cute but in Tavros’s mind all he could think of was some badly animated cartoon character from one of his RPG games.   
He swallowed thickly and then tried to smile but the action instead came out like an awkward grimace. Gamzee cocked his head and glanced at Sollux, silently asking if Tavros was ok but after receiving an uncaring shrug from Sollux’s behalf Gamzee made up his own mind and continued forward, putting both hands down on Tav’s shoulders and offering him a warm smile of his own. 

“Hay look at that, you all up and got yourself stitched up. Sollux is one handy motherfucker right Tavbro? went and stitched up your think pan all different kinds of classy”   
Tavros flinched back a little when Gamzee gently touched the stitching, though seeing his displeasure Gamzee lowered his arm back down to rest on Tav’s shoulder.

“Aww sorry Bro my bad, but anyway come on let’s get you home. Bet you wanna get your ass all warm and snug in your bed now right? Pretty fucking late to be hanging out round a bro’s home even if he did all up and feed you crappy Asian food haha”

Sollux cast a glance in Gamzee’s direction and Tavros muttered a quick good bye, voice still soft and catching in his throat from awkwardness though Sollux didn’t seem to care and Gamzee didn’t seem to notice, talking the shorter male out of the apartment and bundling him into the lift. He spent the ride talking to him about Sollux’s apartment and how it ‘made his head feel all kinds of funny with all the black and white, like a motherfucking chess game or some shit’ and how Tavros’s hair reminded him of someone from a show he’d been watching a few days before but couldn’t recall, the whole conversation seeming pretty one sided, not stopping until they went out onto the main street where a camper van was illegally parked on the curb with his hazard lights flashing.

The van had been painted a dark purple though the paint was chipped in places though it looked like someone had decided to roll with it, scratching out ‘(o:’ faces along the side to match in with the rest of the paintwork errors which probably hadn’t been done with quite as much purpose, if any. 

“Hop on in Tavbro and I’ll take you home, haha whoa wait, I all up and forgot to ask you where you live! Sorry, sorry, my bad. So, where’d you live?”

Gamzee buckled himself, in which Tavros had to admit surprised him a little, having taken Gamzee for the type to drive rather carelessly. Tavros did the same, pulling the buckle down over his chest with shaky hands and strapping himself in, resting his hands on his lap and trying to remember how to make his mouth move and form words. 

“E-east side of town, urh in the apartment block by the bridge, t-the urh...one with the neon sign and the seven eleven across the street”

Gamzee seemed to think the information over for a few seconds before he nodded and quickly turned on the ignition, pushing the car forwards into drive and switching off the unneeded hazard lights while he pulled out into the street, doing a U-turn and making his way towards Tavros apartment. 

The ride wasn’t as awkward as Tavros had been expecting. Gamzee made no mention to their meeting, in fact he said very little. Though his driving was a little more wild then he was used to (tavros was sure he’d run a light a few blocks back) he managed not to hit anyone and stayed on the road, most of the time at least. He seem to be keeping most of his attention on the road for now and when he did speak it usually resulted in single word answers on Tavros behalf, Gamzee asking him if he was cold and while Tavros awkwardly stammered and stuttered for a response that didn’t seem rude Gamzee just laughed and turned the heating up, making Tavros sigh softly and lean back into his seat, eye lids drooping down so they were half lidded by the end of the ride. 

Gamzee eventually pulled up into the parking lot outside of the entrance to the apartment block, casting a quick glance at the building but making no comment on its run down appearance. It wasn’t the worse place to live in the city, it had running water and gas, but it wasn’t exactly the same standard that Sollux’s nice modernised apartment block had been. The brick work was crumbling on the right side and the neon sign was flickering on and off, the ‘r’ from ‘Apartments’ having fallen away at the hinges leaving it dangling down at an angle with the lights blown. 

Tavros went to go and get his wallet out in order to pay Gamzee gas money but he then remembered what Sollux had said about his lack of cash.

“I-i’m sorry, they took m-my money I urh, I can’t pay you. I can pay you soon though! I get paid at the end of the month next week, a-and urh I can, I can forward you the money somehow or urh, give it to you in person I do-”  
Tavros blinked and went silent, finding one of Gamzee’s long fingers pressed down on his lips cutting his rambling speech short. He tensed up and his gaze slowly rose from the finger to Gamzee’s face, finding the older male leaning in a lot closer than he had been doing before. Tavros breath hitched and without thinking he licked his lips, tongue swiping over Gamzee’s finger causing the other male to raise one brow then laugh softly, moving his finger back but still keeping close.

 

“So bro...you gonna invite me in?”


	4. Chapter 4

Tavros wasn’t used to having guests and although he doubted that Gamzee would mind the mess he still felt awkward. He opened the front door and stepped inside with the singer following in close behind him.  
His home wasn’t dirty. Tavros liked having schedule to his life and that included having a tri weekly clean of his apartment, though he would be the first to admit he did have a lot of stuff.  
His apartment was small, having one bedroom, a bathroom and then an open plan living and kitchenette area. The sofa was directly in front of the door so that Tavros had to shimmy around the back of it to make more room for Gamzee to allow him further into the room, and then in front of the sofa was his TV connected up to a multiple of gaming consoles. None of them were brand new, instead having been salvaged from dump stores and second hand purchases from the internet, but he loved each one like a child.  
They enabled him to go to mythical lands he could never dream of. To fight dragons and rescue princesses. Though right now he was more than happy to have his feet firmly rooted in the real world even if it seemed his daydreams were turning to reality before his very eyes. 

“Wo-would you like a drink?” he tugged at the hem of his shirt and watched Gamzee sprawl out on his sofa, stretching those long limbs up and over one end so his feet dangled off the edge, bobbing up and down to a beat that only Gamzee could hear within his own head. 

“Hm? Aww yeah bro, that’s be great man, I’ll have whatever you’re having...you got any faygo?”  
Tavros inwardly breathed out a sigh of relief having expected Gamzee to want alcohol, (Which Tavros had none of), but he knew for a fact he had two bottles of the fruity drink stashed away in the top draw above the sink.  
He returned to Gamzee side and handed him a glass, sitting on the edge of the sofa and tensing up when he felt Gamzee arm’s loop around his midsection to pull him fully onto the sofa so he was sitting by Gamzee’s stomach, the taller male turning onto his side to give Tavros’s butt room to fit alongside his own. 

“Aww I’m sorry bro, I all up and said I’d let you get some rest and now I’ve just come and invaded your space haven’t I? Sorry man, that isn’t cool, I can leave if you wa-” “NO!” 

Ok.  
Maybe.  
Maybe he said that a little loud.  
Tavros felt his cheeks heat up and he turned his head to the side, bringing his drink to his lips and tasking a few hasty sips. 

“You don’t have to leave, i-it’s ok. I don’t mind you staying here for a while”  
He risked a glance back in Gamzee’s direction, expecting to see him giving him a glare or looking at him like he was insane but Gamzee just looked pleased. Though he had only spent a small amount of time with the older male Tavros was starting to see what kind of guy Gamzee was, and from what he’d seen so far he liked what he saw. He had that aura about him of someone who was a nice guy through and through. Not to mention his smile seemed to be infectious as without thinking Tavros was returning it which made Gamzee smile wider in response, leaning up to ruffle Tavros’s hair in an affectionate action Tavros would have thought he would have reserved for close friends. The very thought that Gamzee might consider him a friend, let alone a ‘close’ friend was enough to send Tavros into some sort of fit though for once he managed to contain his emotions and just sat there with the object of his affection nestled on his sofa behind him loudly slurping cherry Faygo.

“I’m urm, sorry...about the whole ‘passing out’ thing. That doesn’t normally happen, really. I guess I just got over hot and I was stressed and everything just got a little out of hand”  
Tavros took a sip of his drink while he drummed his fingers lightly against the side of the glass in a awkward motion.  
He didn’t want Gamzee to think this was a regular occurrence after all. 

“Hm? Oh no worries bro, it’s cool. We all up and end up on our ass sometimes haha, just glad you didn’t go wind up passing out in the bathroom, pretty sure you’d of got yourself locked in overnight and that isn’t real fun, trust me”  
The look on Gamzee’s face made it clear that this had happened to him in the past. Once or twice he wasn’t too proud to admit he had had one too many to drink and ended up locked within the clubs lavatory over night, wakening in the morning to himself spooning a toilet or two. Not his highest moments to date, but a learning curve for sure. 

“Oh, well thank-you. That makes me feel better. Urm I noticed the new member, Karkat?”   
Tavros commented, unsure what to talk about with Gamzee now that he had him in the flesh in his apartment. 

“Karkat? Oh yeah, man he’s great. He’s my best friend, he said he’s step in because Empora all up and left us hanging without anyone to cover his ass. Motherfucker didn’t like Sollux for some stupid reason. They used to be real tight, best bro’s, but well I guess they kinda just went and drifted apart you know? Real shame that. It’s like, they were friends, and now that’s all just gone to shit”  
Gamzee sighed and rubbed over one eye, smearing his face paint up into his hairline and over his wrist. He looked at his stained palm for a few moments before rubbing away the grease paint onto his trousers, which from the looks of things were commonly used as a makeshift washcloth for such a thing. 

Tavros went to comment but suddenly the room was filled with the sound of 8BIT clown music.  
The younger jumped a little, watching as Gamzee tugged out a purple backed mobile from his jacket pocket, only to hurriedly sit up and disconnect the call. 

“Aww shit man, I’m sorry. I gotta go, was real nice of you letting me stay here for a while, was gonna crash bu-“ he cut off as he paused to down the drink in his hand, swallowing down the purple liquid at a near inhuman rate before haphazardly placing the cup on the side table, knocking it back onto the floor in his hurry to stand.  
“Thanks for letting me stay an sorry about you getting your head all beat up an shit, if it happens again just knife the guy or something, yeah? Tell me and I’ll make sure no one goes and fucks with my new lil bro, ok?”   
Though Gamzee was smiling his body language seemed to have taken a nose dive, bundling up his jacket into his arms and standing behind the sofa, struggling with the autolock on Tavros’s door until he punched at the frame in anger. 

_“Help a bro out and open the motherfucking door would you?”_  
Tavros flinched and quickly got to his feet, coming around the back of the sofa and waiting until Gamzee moved back before he awkwardly opened the door from the other side of him, unable to get closer with the two of them in such a tight space. 

“T-there you go”  
Gamzee only now seemed to notice the fear in his new friend’s voice, pausing for a moment before he pulled out a pen from his jeans pocket and grabbed Tavros around the wrist, scribbling down his mobile phone number onto the younger mans arm in sprawling messy text. 

“Call me, ok? We can hang out again. I like you tavbro, you got this kinda...I don’t know, make me feel all relaxed and stuff haha, you’re like...soup”  
“...Soup?”  
“Haha yeah man, soup. You know, makes ya’ all warm inside and feel all kinda homely? Soup”  
Tavros wasn’t sure if he should be overly pleased by the comparison but then again it was a nice through tot think that within a few hours of truly meeting the man he was able to make Gamzee feel ‘homely’. Even if it did bring up the unwanted impression that he had been automatically frienzoned and instead somehow been turned into Gamzee’s comfort blanket of sorts. But still. It was a start. A positive start no less, so he couldn’t exactly just take it for granted now could he?  
No way.  
“H-haha, thank-you? It was nice hanging out with you as well Gamzee. I’ll, urh, talk to you soon?”  
He inclined his head to the side a fraction in question, Gamzee giving him one of those infectious smiles again before darting in to place a quick kiss to Tavros’s lips and then turning to leave, closing he door with a flick of his wrist behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between chapters guys, it took a while to get back into the swing fo writing this story with uni work and lack of motivation. This story is more of Gamzee’s background/ plot device so sorry if you find it boring. O o p s.

Sometimes in life people made choices that they regretted, and other times those choices were made for them, through no real fault of their own. Gamzee Makara had first hand experience with both types of situation. He had been born into a family, if the term could be used in the case of his parents ( two teenagers who saw each other as more fuck buddies then a real couple), after a drunken night of copulation. His mother had originally wanted to abort him, but embarrassment and guilt instead lead her to keep the child for the first few months of her pregnancy, though at four months in Gamzee’s father had been killed in a gang related crime and she then decided to keep the child growing within her as a memory to her now dead on again off again lover. Unfortunately, as fate would have it, that was never meant to be.  
The Makara family was notoriously known among the seedy underbelly of the cities more violent residence, and sadly Gamzee’s mother had had no real interaction with her boyfriend’s family, mainly because he had gone to great lengths to keep the information from her. 

After Gamzee was born it had been requested by the head of the Makara household that the baby be returned to them, as a living legacy of their fallen brother. Gamzee’s mother had refused, and two weeks later her body had been found washed up in the city river with a bullet through her pretty little skull. 

Gamzee had been raised by his uncle, the head of the family, for several years in new Mexico though had moved to the US when he was six. He’d always known something was wrong with his ‘family’. He’d seen his uncle kill a man who had lied about a drugs shipment before Gamzee had learnt how to count to a hundred, and he’d always found it a little off how members of their so called ‘family’ would disappear for months at a time, or simply leave and never come back. The older he got the more he started to learn about the world around him and the more he started to hate his existence. His Uncle was not a good man, that much was apparent, but Gamzee doubt that he would ever be able to escape the life he’d been forcibly born into. 

He was fast, lanky and could disappear among a crowd. His uncle had used him for drug running’s in the city from the tender age of ten, and by fourteen he’d taken a liking to the stock. It helped dumb to the reality of the situation, helped the days pass quicker, the lights seem brighter. When his uncle found out he was been beaten within an inch of his life, but then fed back up on the stuff to perk him back up. He was hooked. It kept him from straying too far after all, kept him running back like a dog on a chock chain every time he tried to break away. 

Things had gotten a little better when he’d met Karkat and when he’d found a hobby. Gamzee often spent hours just wondering the city and had found himself visiting an overpass more and more often, spending hours just watching the cars pass below. As it would happen Karkat was positioned as a leaflet disperser on the same overpass, angrily shoving flyers to uninterested passersby as he generally resulting in yelling profanities at those who would blatantly ignore him. It was one such day when, after yelling at a guy who had taken a flyer only to drop it on the floor moments later, Gamzee had been forced to break out of his self induced trance and break up the fight the two men had swiftly started. This had started the beginning of their beautiful friendship. Shortly after meeting karkat, Gamzee had developed a deeper interest in music. He’d always liked music, having dabbled with a guitar when he was younger, on and off again as a side hobby, but with Karkats persistence (aka Karkat screaming at him to ‘Get a fucking hobby and stop coming round to my house to pass out on my fucking sofa you lazy piece of shit’) he had taken it up as a full time endeavour. Most people assumed he was simple, or that he couldn’t hold a single train of thought for longer than a few seconds, which was true, sometimes, but then again Gamzee could also become highly fixated on one thought as well, thus began his months of intensive training. He played guitar whenever he felt stressed. When he was happy. When he was sad. Bored. Feeling like clawing his eyes out just to get some form of release, and like Karkat, it helped. It helped dumb the pain, helped keep him calm, fixed his mind in a calmer sense of being instead of that painful static that would sometimes just pass over him for no apparent reason. And through this single minded determination he became good, then better, then excellent. 

Through karkat he gotten to know more people, and within the next four years the band was formed, starting out playing small gigs around the city for free, until they were growing, gathering a following and being paid to do what they love. He’d made a name for himself, he’d become something and was making his way in life, hell he’d even found a guy he was interested in for more than a one night stand.  
But per usual just when things started to seem too good to be true the world decided to knock him back down a few pegs and once again remind him who he truly belonged to. 

“What is it Kurloz? I’m kinda fuckin’ busy right now brother”  
Out in his van Gamzee clutched his phone to his air and chewed on his lower lip, nursing a torn piece of skin between his front teeth, memories of Tavros’s face flashing over in his mind.  
Fuck, he’d scared him. He’d have to make it up to him somehow. 

“...Dad wants you back. He says you haven’t visited in a long time, he wants to catch up”  
Gamzee didn’t respond right away, instead rummaging through the pockets of his jacket and hooking the key’s to his van around one finger while he ran down the flight upstairs to the ground floor, out into the motel carpark.

Great. Just what he needed. He hadn’t spoken to his uncle in months, though he did catch up with Kurloz now and again, passing messages back and forth, letting the family know that yes he was still alive and yes he was ok. He struggled to work out if they really cared about his safety and wellbeing. He’d always been protected from danger outside their close knit unity, but internalised violence was the norm. If eh keeled over and died in the city would any of them honestly give a shit? 

Possibly. Possibly not. 

“Yeah I know man, look I’m sorry. Shit’s been kinda busy here you know? I got some real good gigs playin’ down town and a motherfucker gotta take what he can when it gets given to him right? It’s good money Lozzy-“ He’s about o continue but the curt cough on the other end of the phone cuts him off, clearly the nickname isn’t enough to win the other over.  
“We’re coming down next week. Dad has some business in the area, you should come and see us Gam”  
Gamzee didn’t need to be told that it was a demand, not a request. 

“...Yeah, sure man. I’ll come see you guys, just...just give me some time to get stuff sorted ok?”

No response.  
Figures. 

The phone went dead and Gamzee stared at the partially cracked screen for some moments before he balled his hand into a first and slammed it against the side of the van repeatedly until slowly his shoulders slumped, breathing evened out, and he got within his vehicle instead of beating the shit out of the exterior.  
Only once inside the car did he notice something on the seat beside him, Tavros’s over shirt crumpled up in the front dash compartment. He’d noticed the other take it off about half way through their return journey, probably brought on by stress, though it seemed the shorter male had forgotten to take it with him.  
Gamzee was tempted to return it right now but he stopped with his hand on the fabric, smoothing it back down and placing both hands on the wheel. 

No, not now. 

Besides, if he had the guys shirt he’d need to return it at some point, right? The perfect excuse to drop by again, and hopefully fix the damage he’d unintentionally caused. He didn’t want Tavros thinking he was a crazy person after all. 

Well. Not yet anyway.


End file.
